I didn't ask for anything. I just said "Don't you think I'm a bit old to sit on your knee?"
That was when all hell broke loose in the store. Children started crying as I pulled off his fake beard, Mums started shouting at me when I told the kids he was not real and this old git was a trouser stain tramp trying to earn a few quid for his VP Sherry.
Consequently the store security staff arrived and politely asked me to leave.
I gave "Satan's lil" helper a right rough kiss with tongues and was dragged from the grotto by two over weight guards. Not before I hasten to add, that I grabbed a hand full of the free sweets and kicked the head off the plastic Rudolf.
That's the last time I go to Toys R us, I can tell you.
Happy Christmas everyone!